You must let no unwholesome word come out of your mouth, but only what is beneficial for the building up of the one in need, that it would give grace to those who hear.
He said, "Lay aside falsehood” (Ephesians 4:25). Now he is taking it a step further, saying Let no unwholesome word come out of your mouth.
He is saying you are in control of every word in your mouth, and you do not have to give in to wrong words.
He is saying that unwholesome words come from the old man (Ephesians 4:22). He is not saying don’t speak, but that certain speech patterns reveal the reality of the old man, just as lying does.
The point is: It is not compulsory to say bad words. Never feel compelled to do so; better to zip up the lips otherwise.
People can think being a Christian gives them the right to be uncouth, as if that shows that they are truly walking in grace.
But Paul mentions the issue of the words of our mouth not only in this passage but also in other passages (Ephesians 5:4; Colossians 3:8; Colossians 4:6).
So it is a core part of Christianity. And it may seem trite to people in those places Paul is reaching for Christ, hence the need to inform them, as an apostle of Jesus Christ that Paul is, his representative at the highest level, that the gospel affects the words of our mouth.
Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks (Matthew 12:34), and in a roundabout way, I believe, what is spoken reinforces what is in the heart.
Don’t you understand that whatever goes into the mouth enters the stomach and then passes out into the sewer? But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these things defile a person. For out of the heart come evil ideas, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. These are the things that defile a person; it is not eating with unwashed hands that defiles a person.”
Listen to Jesus: what comes from the mouth carries the potential for defilement, depending on what it is.
In my opinion, the focus verse tells us that saying "I am just being real" doesn't help anyone, as if that excuses unwholesome words. Keep that in mind.
Saying it “exactly as it is,” as it's running in your mind, if unwholesome, would not earn you a prize. Who are you trying to please or impress?
We are actually called to learn what pleases God (Ephesians 5:10), and here is Paul saying, folks: this is what pleases God: Do not let an unwholesome word come out of your mouth.
And if you have been following me in this passage, you know we have come to another verse where we see a positive and a negative commandment. He is prohibiting something and then commanding the opposite.
He is saying speak only what is beneficial for the building up of the one in need, that it would give grace to those who hear. He is saying think of the person hearing it.
Again, He is not saying don't talk; he is saying talk well. It may be harder to talk well than to just let the wrong word loose. But that does not change the requirement in this verse.
What is more representative of who we are than our words? Paul is saying to have your words be positive agents, not negative ones.
The point of not letting an unwholesome word come out of your mouth is because whether we know it or not, it has a negative impact on other people.
He is giving you an assignment, saying, "You must let no unwholesome word come out of your mouth." The point is: put a sentry on your mouth.
That is a call to a commitment. It is something we must make a priority. It's almost like this is our “company policy,” a strict rule.
If it is your company policy not to wear [fill-in-the-blanks], it is not up for debate or question; it is what everyone does, regardless of your preferences, likes or dislikes. That’s just the way it is.
So Paul here is giving you the instruction from the CEO, God and saying Do not let any unwholesome word come from your mouth. That is company policy; you must - there is that word must - not let an unwholesome word come from your mouth.
What about from your finger as you type a social media message, an email, a letter, a newsletter, a blog post or a work message app?
I believe it is the same rule.
It would be: do not let any unwholesome word come from your finger as you send that message, that text, that email or write that article or use voice-to-text software.
Think before you send, in a way. Paul had already said to speak the truth. So do not say my way of speaking the truth is through the unwholesome words coming from my mouth. Again, don’t say I am just being real, or this is who I am.
He is saying choose another word or choose not to talk at all. By all means, no unwholesome words should come from your mouth.
The question is: is this nice?
He said, “but only what is beneficial for the building up of the one in need, that it would give grace to those who hear.”
We are all in need, therefore, and we all can use beneficial words, meaning words that convey grace, meaning that is helpful, meaning they are inviting, meaning they are welcoming, meaning they put the hearer first, meaning they seek to help rather than tear down.
He is saying words are ministry, more than mere communication, more than giving information, but a ministry platform, whether we know it or not. What are you ministering is the question.
He is saying words are not just self-expression but a ministry platform. Wow!
He is calling for a rethinking of how we think about our words, not just something for ourselves, but something for others.
It should be a powerful tool for God rather than a sea of unwholeness.